Throes of Puberty
by megagem
Summary: Sirius finally finds him-- and all this time he was always in plain sight! Why had he never noticed the amber-eyed lad? Not knowing that there's more to this than meets the eye, Sirius comes up with a plan to steal Remus Lupin's heart. SB/RL
1. Realization, a Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

_Real action starts next chapter! Plus, the humor too. This chapter's more on peering into our main protagonists' psyches and thoughts, with a bit of plot. Not your thing? Head on to the next chapter, it's easy to figure out the loose ends. But, if you don't mind, then by all means do read on. _

It was calling to him again; with its mysticism, and its rich, silver light that always envelops him. He never really knew what it was about the Moon that attracted him so much- was it because of his dark ties to it, or was it just one of those silly attachments creatures make to certain things?

It was almost a nightly ritual of his; to come and visit the Moon at around midnight, just a night or two before his transformation. So that he could marvel at its semi-completeness, before he had to stare at it in horror once again as he felt his body transform into something so alien, so unlike himself. They never wrote it in the textbooks, how werewolves were transfixed at the full moon as they felt their flesh tear and their bodies change. It was almost nerve-wracking, how Remus had to look at something so _complete_, so _whole_, while he had to feel the evidence of his duplicity.

It was nerve-wracking, yet consoling at the same time, to have something so beautiful witness his degradation- he could almost feel its soothing rays shroud him, and tell him that all this will soon pass... and it always does.

It was just like any other night before his transformation. As if jolted by some unseen force, he would wake up at exactly midnight. The first night he awoke to this strange occurrence, he stayed fixed to his bed, willing himself to go back to sleep. Remus never got a wink of sleep after that queer awakening; but, now, he knew better, he would simply leap out of bed without a single thought.

The amber-eyed Gryffindor has come to be fond of his monthly trips to the Astronomy Tower, the Moon always there to greet him. Oddly enough, Remus' subconscious self always knew which night to suddenly rouse him; it was always a night when there were no clouds to obstruct the Moon's glorious rays of silver light. He was always mystified by this, but silently thankful.

Like aforementioned, it was like any other night, with one slight variation.

It was a slight sound that struck him out of his reverie; the werewolf with lightning senses knew he was not alone. He turned to see his intruder.

It was a pair of gray eyes that greet him.

* * *

He was restless again; he tossed and he turned until cold sweat made his pajamas cling to his skin. The soothing darkness that enveloped him did not have its usual effect. Instead, he became more aware of his surroundings, not at all giving in to the calls of sleep. With his sense of sight lessened, his other senses were made more potent.

Sirius suddenly felt that he was too cramped inside his bed, that the sheets were holding on to him too tight, that the air around him was too hot and humid, the surroundings too silent that it was almost deafening.

_Merlin_, he thought, _he was at Hogwarts for Pete's sake_! How could he feel that same lack of freedom he felt every single day at Grimmauld's Place?

Truth be told, though, the dark-haired lad had been feeling this way for a few weeks now. He had absolutely no idea how it started, and why.

All he knew was that he would simply stare into the dark ceiling of his shared quarters, and ponder at the feeling in his chest; in his heart, actually- but it sounded all too effeminate for his liking.

This night was slightly different from all those other nights he spent staring at the ceiling though- this time he did not wander into the realm of sleep distraught and a tad melancholic, this time he was struck with realization, this time he was able to fathom the queer feeling he had in his heart, this time he _knew_. But that didn't make Sirius less sad than he usually would be on a night like this.

This feeling in his heart, he felt it everyday at that hell-hole of a home at Grimmauld's. He felt it each time he would be reprimanded, scolded, and insulted for whom he truly was- a white sheep in a _very_ Black family; he felt it every time those gray eyes of his mother, so much like his own, would look his way, filled with despise and disdain.

It was the coldest feeling any person could possible feel, and it stuck to Sirius' heart like paint to a wall- it was loneliness.

He cursed as loudly as he could. _What in bloody hell is going on with you, Sirius?_

Sirius' mind was in utter disarray. As the realization struck him, he had to ask himself _Why…? Why now? Of all the times, why now?! _

He couldn't understand the sudden leap his heart took- it was insane! Utterly, so very insane. Was he not content with what he had in Hogwarts? He had James and Peter, his trusty, fellow Marauders who kept him company these past five years- and, not to mention, the countless fans and admirers he had who would do anything at his whim.

Wasn't it enough that he experienced such torture at home? Having to go through it here, too... that was just plain cruel and masochistic.

Slowly his thoughts were turning into a mind-splitting headache…

Damn his heart for being so fickle.

* * *

Sirius may not know how it all started, how things got that way. But, with all things, there is always a cause, a root, to how things turn out the way they do.

It all started on the day James professed his undying love for a certain green-eyed redhead. It was _fortunate_ that Sirius- bless his intelligent yet dense mind- was not able to make the connection between his feelings of loneliness and said event.

But, on the other hand, it was _unfortunate_ that Sirius- during all those nights filled with confusion- was not able to recognize just what type of loneliness he was experiencing.

Bless his mind once again, Sirius can't seem to wrap his head around the fact that he was actually going through the throes of puberty, albeit quite late... but then, at long last! The roguishly good-looking lad from Gryffindor would soon be at the mercy of love.

It almost feels as though a miracle's going to happen.

Struck with realization as he was, Sirius did not go back to bed. Now that he knew this wriggling feeling in his heart, he just wanted to think it out, and find out _why_ it was there.

It was rather stressing to know what the problem was, and not know what to do about it. He felt his mind turn slowly into mush, and his heart flutter with an indescribable feeling; almost something like- what did his friends call it?- _angst_, was it?

Sirius suddenly took a double take. _Shite, shite, shite! Mate, you're going bonkers! Completely bonkers! Merlin, forbid!_

First the loneliness, then the angst... it was too much for the gray-eyed lad to take. You'd think he was a bloody romantic, looking for the love of his life, for the person who could make him whole. _No, no, no- no, thank you!_ He was a lone wolf, he thought to himself, he didn't need anyone to- he suddenly shivered- _complete_ him.

That conviction become more and more weak though, as that way of thinking didn't do anything at all to cease the feeling in his heart. He swore once more.

Instead of forcing himself to sleep, which he somehow knew was impossible for him then, he jumped right out of bed. He had a lot of adrenaline pulsing through his veins; he needed to move.

Out he went, without so much as a second glance at the room that's been stifling him.

* * *

The cool air whips his ebony hair hither-thither, and placates his growing headache.

Sirius wonders to himself why he never did this before; Hogwarts was a labyrinth during the night, and there was a thrum of mystery and magic behind the walls that you feel almost honored to be surrounded by them. It was a pleasure to walk through its hallways; one gets filled with admiration that he forgets everything else on his mind.

Just right for our brooding protagonist; he yields, and is caught up by mystification and what not.

He forgets himself, and just roams and roams- his mind becoming surprisingly clear; the wind creates sounds that call out to him, the sound of his steps echo in the hallways.

And, then, he stops. He is struck out of his reverie. He _truly_ sees for the first time since he started walking through the hypnotic paths of Hogwarts. He sees him; but he did not know it was a _he_ during that moment.

Bathed in the silver light of the moon- shoulder-length, blond hair glistening, billowing robes from the wind- _she_ stands there transfixed on the Moon. It was unnerving how Sirius couldn't take his eyes off _her_. He moves to see her better, then a gasp escapes his lips, _she_ was a _he_. But that didn't make Sirius less captivated by the sight in front of him.

The gasp that escaped him did not go unnoticed; the beguiling entity turns his head to look his way. The ebony-haired lad gasps again.

There, staring at him, were the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen.

They were hauntingly beautiful; they called out to you, as if as though the soul under its depth had something to say, had a yearning in its core that it wanted to quench.

But those eyes looked at Sirius as if not seeing; and, just as quickly as their eyes met, they soon parted. The pair of amber orbs were back to gazing at the Moon up above.

But, just before the connection was lost, a flicker of emotion flashed through the amber-eyed lad's eyes. Sirius unexpectedly felt something somersault in his tummy. He knew what he saw. And Sirius didn't know whether to be elated or saddened by the discovery.

He felt a kinship with the unknown person in front of him (who proceeded to ignore his presence), for in those eyes he saw the familiar feelings of loneliness and sadness that have been haunting him; Sirius thinks to himself what a great burden it was to carry these feelings in tow, and he thought that he'd rather have this burden to himself than let this beautiful creature in front of him suffer the pangs they bring.

And, realization struck Sirius once again, but it was only his subconscious mind that grasped it. _This_- everything that led to this point... it was something divine, something mysterious.

Something that truly made Sirius' heart sing, although he didn't know why.

* * *

He stares one last time at the beguiling sight. He savors a sudden wind that whips his hair and whisks through his clothes; he sees the full moon in its magnificence, and then he feels the growing warmth in his heart. Then, he turns away, with a boyish smile on his face.

Sirius's tummy was doing somersaults once more, but for an entirely different reason as before. And, he had to ask himself how someone he had just seen could do such things to him. _And, how a pair of eyes could be so embedded in his mind._

_Bloody hell, Sirius, is this what I think it is? _

It truly was what he thought it was; Sirius has just experienced love at first sight. And slowly his heart that seemed so empty just a while ago was filled with excitement and expectation.

"The loneliness," Sirius states into the dead of the night, with a fantastic smirk to his lips- as he sees _his_ eyes in front of him once again, "that we both feel, my dear lone _wolf_, we shall revel in it as we see and grasp each other's miseries. But the emptiness we feel," Sirius brings a hand to his heart- almost reveling in the feeling, knowing almost instinctively that it will then pass "will soon be filled as we grow closer, as we savor each other's company..." He was grinning brightly by this time, albeit hesitantly- almost in an embarrassed way, not willing himself to say the next few words that crossed his mind.

_...as we fall in love_. He did not dare say those words.

For one thing, he's said too much! What in bloody hell was happening to him? Murmuring lyrical and romantic words in an empty hallway, in the middle of the night, smiling so brightly that it could have blinded anyone... it was all so incomprehensible, he would've laughed if he wasn't so _damn_ confounded.

Bloody hell, he really was turning into a bloody romantic. And isn't it bloody brilliant?

Sirius decided there right then that he truly was, utterly insane. And, he too decided right then that he truly was, utterly, insanely in love with an amber-eyed lad whose name he doesn't even know.

_Merlin._

* * *

Author's Notes: Bless you! You've just finished my very first fan fiction. I'm hoping it isn't that bad!

I imagine you must have found this a bit lacking- with no dialogue and all. But I do wish you give this piece a chance! Not to worry, you'll be seeing our dear Marauders' lips in action by the next chapter, I promise. (And- no!- not that _sort_ of action. At least, not yet!)

Cheers! Reviews are appreciated!

P.S. For my previous readers, forgive me! As you can see, nothing much has changed. I just thought I'd merge the two previous chapters together- they were quite short. I'll be updating soon.


	2. Battle Plan

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

He always had an inkling that his best mate was a bit unhinged, but he had never really thought that it would amount to this. Being subjected to a battle plan by a seemingly manic Sirius- his wand in hand, used as a pointer- emphasizing with flailing hands the finer points of his tactics on a blackboard apparently transfigured out of thin air (really, the foolish Marauder could be a bloody brilliant student if he just focused!) was not how he dreamed his morning would play out. Plus, the fact that he was still in his boxers.

James was never a morning person. His mind was still clearing the haze that was brought about by sleep. Heck, he was having a hard time sitting straight and not letting himself wander into dreamland even- the latter was very improbable though, seeing as Sirius kept jabbing his side the moment he tried to doze off. Bloody git. Can't he see that all he could hear is annoying rambling?

After being jabbed for perhaps the sixth time, James figured he'd had enough.

"Oy!" James said, fending away another swat to his side "Sheesh, Sirius, let me stretch first- breathe even!" James exclaimed in mock-anger; he then grinned at the frown that graced his friend's sharp features- disappointed at being interrupted. Sticking out his tongue in jest, he stood up to stretch his unused joints, looking out the window to see the still murky sky; dark blue with hints of pink and orange along the horizon. _Yeap, definitely not a great time to wake up._

The boy with the perpetually untidy hair turned his head to his friend, and upon seeing that Sirius was about to continue his ramblings again, held his hand up.

"Seriously, Sirius," James said, taking a moment to grin at the pun "calm down! I didn't even understand half of what you were saying!"

And Sirius, as if taking that as a cue to explain himself, exclaimed "But James! This is a matter of dire importance!" holding his hands up as if to emphasize just how significant his following words were "I'm in love! Bloody in love! And it's just fantastic," the handsome lad paused to smirk "now I know why you get so crazy and dumbstruck whenever your dear redhead comes so much as a few meters near."

James had to blink at that. Soon his face was turning a bright red; Lily was a topic the Marauders decided to leave untouched- for each of their sakes. Really, James never did know what to do when her name came up- in an overwhelming desire to tell of the sheer beauty and amazingness that was Lily, he struggles to get even a few words out...

Before James could splutter a response, Sirius barked out a laugh, quite amused at the mess that James transforms into when someone so much as says Lily's name- he wondered though, would he be like that once he finds out the name of the mysterious lad from last night? With a sudden blush, he remembered the amber eyes that took his breath away; he just had to find him, he had to.

Not missing a beat, James suddenly gasped in shock as he took in his best mate's flushed face, "No!" the unruly-haired took a step back, pointing an accusing finger at Sirius.

"Don't freaking tell me you're in love with Lily too!"

Sirius did a double take. Struck out of his reverie, the gray-eyed lad turned to assess his best mate- and, no, he was not kidding; James was honest to Merlin serious about his previous statement, albeit looking unbelieving and hopeful that it wasn't true. Sirius could have laughed at the mere thought and at the sight that was James with the bulging eyes and rotten red flush of his face, but he had to spare his best mate the worry and discomfort- and, please, Sirius wasn't interested in birds (at least, just recently). Yes, in fact Sirius was...

"Prongs, I'm gay."

Far from easing his friend's discomfort though, Sirius' words only heightened them. Why for Merlin's sake, that he did not know. But, then realization struck him, and it was all Sirius could do not to laugh! The prankster inside Sirius took the front seat; then, as if to emphasize his previous statement, the gray-eyed lad looked at James' form rather suggestively, even daring to waggle his eyebrows.

James looked down to see that he was still in his boxers. And as if that were confirmation to what he was thinking, James finally shouted out his thoughts and indignation. The accusing finger back to pointing at him.

"Bloody hell! Don't bloody tell me you're in love with me!"

Not holding it in any longer, Sirius laughed out with a sudden bark, continuing on to laugh 'til his sides hurt.

Yes, James really wasn't a morning person.

* * *

Really! It wasn't his fault that he misunderstood the situation. Hand it to Sirius for being so bloody vague and random that the situation became so convoluted and confusing that James felt sucker punched at each of his miscalculated conclusions. And, plus, Sirius should have known better than to wake him that early- there were consequences, you know? - It was sure to come up with a slightly befuddled James. He suddenly wished that Peter didn't have to stay in the Infirmary because of an injury; then, who might've had someone to share his pain with.

Oh, confound it all. He didn't want to think about it; it was all too embarrassing. No doubt, Sirius would use this as a great story to tell their mates- just one of those funny experiences you pick up along the course of your stay in Hogwarts. He was sure he wouldn't be able to hear the end of it.

_Well, that's what you get for having a best mate as crazy as Sirius Black_, he thought. His spontaniety really did get you through a boring day though. James sighed. _Spontaneous, indeed_, James thought as he went into the bathtub, sighing as he felt his anxieties slip away into the warm water of his bath, comforted by the bubbles surrounding him- unwinding so early in the day, James had shake his head at that.

As spontaneous though as Sirius' falling in love may be, James had reason to believe his confession was true. The fear James felt as he saw the blush on his best mate's face, thinking his Lily was on the receiving end of such an action, was great- he truly believed right then in that moment that he was about to head his best mate on, face to face, in a battle to see who would win the lass' heart.

Not that he was afraid he'd lose; of course... it was more of a fear of how it would affect their friendship, at least that's what he told himself. Hell, who was he kidding? Sirius was amazingly handsome; though he supposed he could compensate for this with his mad Quidditch skills and, overall, more stable nature. A lad who suddenly blurts out he's gay, without any prior inclination or indication to such, is definitely an unstable person. And, yes, James shouldn't be thinking of such things.

Still, lo and behold, the lad who could melt the heart of any girl in Hogwarts with a single smile is gay! Bloody brilliant.

_Flashback_

"It's a he?" After everything was cleared up, James finally asked for confirmation, though one time was more than enough.

With the sudden reminder of his unknown love interest, Sirius started bouncing on the bed- all plans of a "battle" gone- as he started describing the "mysterious lad" he called him.

"Yeap, a he! Thought he was a she at first, isn't that something?" Padfoot, grinning at the memory, paused to look at Prongs as if he'd find it amusing too "What with his light brown hair a few inches above the shoulder, I'm sure I'm not the only one he's fooled."

James' eyes widened, he could swear he knew of only one person in Hogwarts who had that description. But, it can't be... the lad was in their year. Surely, Sirius was not ignorant enough to not take notice of his presence, granted that the boy in question was a bit of an introvert. He must be talking of another person who happened to have the same hair...

"And his eyes, Prongs! The most beautiful shade of amber I've ever seen!" Padfoot's took a warm scarlet color "They reminded me of moons, you know, they were so inviting yet haunting- wonderful orb like things," James did not care for the other minute details (they were disturbing to say the least- that Sirius could go to such painstaking detail over a person's eyes was just weird!), but one thing was sure, the boy in question definitely had amber eyes. He finally knew Sirius' guy, and he fought down a smack that wanted to itch its way to Padfoot's head. How could he not recognize a batch mate when he sees one? And a Gryffindor too, no less!

"And come to think of it he was staring at the moon rather inently too. My guy's a moony per-"

"Lupin!"

"What about lupins? Aren't those beans?" Stopping to think about it for a moment, Sirius shrugged it off, deeming it unimportant. "We're getting off topic!"

"Padfoot, I can't believe that you don't recognize a fellow Gryffindor when you see one, and he's the same year too!" James exclaimed with an exasperated grin. It's so like Sirius to remain ignorant to certain things or, in this case, people who happen to have been right under his nose; only able to take notice when he was compelled to or, in this case, "captivated by sight under the moon light" from what he caught from the rambling words of Sirius Black. Who knew the Marauder could be so poetic?

_End of Flashback_

James sighed as he went on to finish his bath, still thinking about the events of his morning, though finally placated and calm. Sirius was ecstatic at learning that the boy of his dreams had always been in his plain sight, though he too wondered why he never took notice of him. It seemed too impossible, seeing that Sirius was madly in love with the lad from just catching sight of him; or, perhaps it was the situation and circumstance of the meeting that fueled his emotions? Padfoot denied this vehemently, saying he would have fallen in love with him regardless of the where and the when, exclaiming he would have remembered such amazing eyes.

Sirius falling in love and Sirius proclaiming he was gay were two happenings that always seemed improbable, impossible even. With him doing both on the same day, anyone could have a heart attack- and, not to mention, the multiple hearts that would be broken. James really had to groan from the headache he was getting. Sirius really had to come into one's life with a warning on him. No matter though, whichever path Sirius may take in his life, James would be there to back him up.

Truth be told, James has his own bouts of craze once in a while; if the event that happened this morning isn't proof enough, then he doesn't know what is. And Sirius was always there to take everything in stride, albeit, a little bit too enthusiastically. Craze always equaled fun for Sirius.

After Sirius finally found out the identity of the subject of his affections, he proceeded to tell him about his meeting with him, his wandering of Hogwarts in the middle of the night, how the moonlight shone on the light brown hair, how the beguiling entity turned his head to captivate him with his wonderful, orb like... and other minor details James didn't feel like repeating. As James continued on to listen to Sirius' rather long-winded account of last night, it struck him that this was different from anything Sirius has ever encountered when it came to the area of love. Usually, the gray-eyed lad would tell him that he had his eyes on this girl, approximating the number of days he'd take to be able to have a snog with her.

It may sound like a Slytherin thing to do, but Sirius always had his heart on his sleeve; he went into a relationship because he really felt that the other person could fill some empty place in his heart, not because of physical gratification (of course, it never could be avoided in any relationship, especially one with one Sirius Black). There was always something Sirius tried to find, someone to complete some missing puzzle that's been boggling him- though he'd never admit it, or perhaps he himself never really knew it. More often than not, Sirius would soon feel discontented with his relationship and would then look for someone else.

He may look like a player playing his game well, but James knew him better than that. And- this- this was something else altogether, Sirius didn't go approximating when he'll be able to snog this Remus Lupin. He was asking all sorts of questions, like what subjects he took, what his voice sounded like, if he really was as shy as James said he was...

* * *

"Merlin, you really are in love with Lupin," James said with a hesitant but genuine smile, already imagining the added spontaneity and happiness in Sirius for days to come. How was he going to survive that?

"Hello, I've been trying to point that out all morning," Sirius gave his friend an understanding smile, knowing full well that this news was a little hard to process- heck, he himself could not believe it either.

He smiled once more, brighter than ever; James' confirmation fueling the warmth in his heart. It was nice to know that someone else could see the difference in his aura; he was in love after all! It wouldn't seem right falling in love, and having no one see the difference; plus- he was a Gryffindor!- he always wore his heart on his sleeve.

Looking at the ceiling while lying on the bed, Sirius smiled inwardly as he replayed the memories of the morning in his mind, it was both ways hilarious and relieving. Somehow he'd expected his best mate to rethink being his friend; it's not that being queer was rejected or looked down upon- it was perfectly acceptable- it was the fact that James might perhaps feel weird having a gay friend. Contrary to his expectations though, a light shone in James' eyes that said loads; that said that he was happy that he's found someone at last; that said he'd be there to lend his support no matter what- how Sirius knew that, he didn't know, brotherly intuition perhaps. Sirius was thankful more than ever that he had James as his best mate. A bloody loyal Gryffindor.

As if he heard Sirius' thoughts, James opened the door to their door done from his bath, a look of puzzlement on his face. Sirius left him to his own machinations. He seemed very deep in thought, perhaps still processing the load of information he got from this morning.

James went on to look at the blackboard Sirius transfigured, atop it title "Battle Plan!" beside which was a stick figure with a determined face, pumping his fists at him. James looked at the plan itself written in Sirius' elegant handwriting, and was surprised at the rather long-winded tactics and steps. Everything seemed to be random; one step included turning the Slytherins' skin pink, and, the next, flying around the castle in his boxers. Random, and also unintelligible; Sirius graceful writing was contrasted by the craziness of the words that were written. Prongs felt another headache growing as he read each step until the very last, beside which was another stick figure with a rather satisfied face jumping up and down in triumph. It read: he goes out of the crowd.

"A battle plan," James turned to him with twinkling eyes "Sirius?"

Sirius turned his head to James from the bed, seemingly uninterested.

"Oh, that?" Sirius said in a haphazard tone, waving his hand as if to push away some unwanted thought "No need for that. I mean, I already know who he is."

And as if to emphasize that point, Sirius uttered his name "Remus Lupin," and went back to staring up at the cieling from his bed with a glazed look "I'd better come up with another plan, huh?"

James just shook his head, smirking at his friend's state lying on the bed.

And, turning towards the door to their dorm with a very amused grin on his face, James thought to himself that he isn't the only one who becomes a bit unhinged when it came to early mornings. But, then, this was Sirius after all; and, not only that, he was in love. James thought he might make an exception.

* * *

Author's Notes: Well, that's two chapters down; hoping I did not disappoint you!

And, if you're wondering, yes, you'll be finding out what exactly that plan is going to be. Let's cross our fingers it isn't as crazy as his first one, eh?

I'm upset with myself too! Our two favorite Marauders (well, okay, Remus isn't one yet) didn't have any interaction at all. No worries, we'll be seeing some soon.

Reviews are appreciated!

Danii: Thanks for the pleasant review! I hope this lived up to the first chapter, although it took a turn from slightly surreal to reality with a bit of humor. I'm a big fan of the Sirius/Remus pairing too! I think they simply belong together.


End file.
